Kai Druhl's Personal Story
am currently a science instructor at a community college, teaching physics
and earth science. My favorite subject is modern physics, since it has
dismantled the mechanistic worldview. It has led us to recognize that the
universe had a definite beginning, a moment of creation, and that the
ultimate reality is not comprised of matter and empty space, but is
non-material. I think that in the modern understanding of the universe and
of quantum physics, science has come as close to touch and grasp the
almighty Creator as it possibly can. But this is in itself a fascinating
topic, about which I could write books, and I will leave it at that for now.
My journey towards Jesus Christ began with a very
practical need, and it led me for a long time in what now appears to be the
opposite direction. In 1980, I found myself in a difficult situation. My
marriage had fallen apart, and I was faced with a challenging job situation.
I needed something to build my inner strength. A friend of mine appeared to
experience such benefits from the Transcendental Meditation (TM) technique,
and so I began to practice it. I did experience some reduction in tension,
and some increase in self-reliance.
Over time, I was drawn into the spiritual views and
doctrines underlying TM. I also read Yogananda"s book
"Autobiography of a Yogi," which made a deep impression on me.
After 4 years, I learned the advanced "TM-Sidhi" program, which
was said to give supernatural powers. Of these, I gained nothing but a
glimpse. At the same time, a feeling of detachment from the world around me
began to develop, supported by the teaching that I was in possession of
In 1986, I joined what was then called "Maharishi
International University" in Fairfield, Iowa, now "Maharishi
University of Management," where I was active until 2000 as a Professor
of Physics, researching and teaching. What attracted me to the university
was both the opportunity to practice my meditation programs in the large
group that was assembling at the university twice daily, and the expectation
to go deeply into "Maharishi" Mahesh Yogi"s spiritual
teachings and their relevance to the various academic disciplines.
Much to my disappointment, it soon became obvious that
genuine intellectual inquiry was not tolerated, and that interpretation of
the spiritual teachings was the privilege of a few, carefully selected
"top faculty." Nevertheless, I began to study and apply
Maharishi"s teachings in my work and personal life. During this time, I
participated in almost every new spiritual or general program that was
offered by Maharishi"s movement. I became a teacher of TM in 1993, and
eventually even taught a graduate level course on consciousness and physics
in the Department of Maharishi Science of Creative Intelligence.
During my first year at the university, I found it very
difficult to maintain focus and clarity of mind. This situation eventually
improved somewhat, however, over the long haul my health and my ability to
make and follow through with decisions declined considerably. While there
were many members of the larger university community, who were able to work
successfully and with great focus and purpose, it was also not uncommon to
see others in states of emotional instability. This was always attributed to
the "purifying" effect of the meditation practices.
In 1990, I first met Maharishi Mahesh Yogi personally.
Immediately after the meeting, I noticed signs of demonic oppression. I was
no longer able to control my facial expressions during meditation, and my
lips would suddenly retreat to expose my clenched teeth. This loss of
control eventually even spread into quiet times, outside of meditation. At
the time, I attributed that to the impending release of a
"stress," that I thought had been in me all along.
Still, my exit from the university at the end of 1999 was
mainly motivated by financial considerations. I had spent all of my savings
and retirement funds on very expensive programs and projects offered and
sponsored by the TM movement, and had to find outside sources of income.
I considered it as unconceivable to take on a normal job
and work, because I had come to believe that I was one of a few individuals
called to serve mankind through practicing meditation, and teaching what
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi calls "supreme knowledge." This was and is
by no means an unusual attitude among long term followers of Mahesh Yogi. It
still keeps large numbers of individuals in states of material and spiritual
poverty and bondage, where the prospect of getting back into regular
activity has all but disappeared from sight.
I tried to make money by trading options and commodities,
but was not successful. As I was reading a number of self-help books, I came
across the "Course in Miracles," a book channeled by a spirit of
divination who claims to be Jesus Christ. I realized later, that the
teachings in this book comprise a masterpiece of deception, sounding so much
like Jesus to those who have never read the Bible carefully, but twisting
and negating the true teachings that God has given through His prophets,
through Christ and through the apostles.
At the time, however, the "Course" was a
revelation for me, because it did emphasize the role of Jesus Christ as a
personal teacher and intimate friend. I desired this with all my heart, and
cried out to whom I believed was Jesus. The first response came from the
lying spirit behind the "Course", who took me through a series of
painful "tests" and "trials," all the way injecting
feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
Still, I now realize that throughout this time, the Lord
was watching over me. He led me into a spirit filled, full gospel church,
and put me under the authority of its pastor, Apostle Greg Crawford. I began
to read the bible from beginning to end, and I found that it told a coherent
story of God's love and holiness, and of His plan of salvation for mankind.
The true nature of Jesus began to take shape in my spirit. Through Apostle
Greg, and several other individuals associated with his ministry, I also
found deliverance from the demons that were tormenting me. This took place
in stages over a period of more than a year. At some point the Lord spoke to
me and told me to pray for my salvation. I was quite shocked, because I
thought that I was already saved. But when I kneeled and prayed the sinner's
prayer, all of a sudden I burst into tears, and felt a great burden lifted
from my heart.
Over time, I began to realize the depth of deception that
I had been under, from the teachings of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and the spirit
of the "Course." The Lord began to reveal Himself to me, as I
continued and continue to seek him in bible study, prayer and worship. I
began to feel His presence during prayer and worship in a loving and
powerful way, and saw all aspects of my life turned around. He truly
"redeemed my life from destruction," and gave me "the oil of
gladness for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of
heaviness." I am overwhelmed by His grace and mercy, and by His
infinite love for me. As time goes by, the Lord is leading me into greater
and greater intimacy with Him. He is also leading me into a deeper
understanding of His working and the working of the Holy Spirit in me, and
in all the members of His church.
Let me conclude with a comment on meditation and
spiritual power. The TM program is not devoid of spiritual power. Its
practitioners are invoking powerful spirits, and they are reaping the
results of this, whether they are aware of it or not. This experience of
spiritual power, and what initially appear to be its benefits, is drawing
many people into TM and other New Age practices.
Is the church devoid of spiritual power? To a large
degree, yes. This is a sad state of affairs, because Christ has restored to
us our God given privilege to have the all-powerful Spirit of God dwelling
with in us, to provide for our every need, and to minister to others. Christ
has called the church to walk in victory, preaching the gospel, healing the
sick, raising the dead, casting out devils, not to quarrel about man-made
Meditation on the Lord, on His name and on His word is a
biblical mandate. The Lord has promised that He will take up residence in
us, if we will but open the door. We have allowed the counterfeit of eastern
mantra meditation to dominate, even to scare us off the great gift of daily
intimacy with the Lord. It is my greatest desire to walk myself and help
others to walk fully in that joyous and victorious position of union with
Him, that He desires so much.
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