Katrina WL Cati's Story
Islam
I
think I always deeply believed in God. I can remember as early as four years
old, when conversation about God came up around the dinner table, I would always
cry. Even though I was raised in a Christian household, no one in my family
really went to church or prayed other than on Easter Sunday or Christmas. I had
a good family; there were no drugs, alcohol, or abuse. My father, grandfather
and uncles worked hard 5-6 days a week to provide for us, and were always home
on time. As a teenager I started down the wrong road, but when I was 17, I began
going to church on a regular basis. It was my mother who first got me to go. She
never said a word about participating in church activities, but when she began
to attend regularly; I saw such a change in her over a short period of time that
I had to go just to see what it was all about. In one small moment, as I knelt
down at an altar, Jesus changed my whole direction and purpose in life.
Within a year's time, my whole family started going to
church. I told everyone about God, my classmates, my teachers, strangers, and
anyone else who would listen, it didn't matter. I saw many people follow in my
footsteps. I wanted everyone to know about God, and what God meant to me.
I was a born again, spirit filled
woman who attended a large church in Alabama. In the 1980s, I was crowned
Mrs. Alabama. A few years later, however, I strayed from my religion and was lost
for many years.
After a series of compromises, and wrong choices, my marriage
ended in divorce. I then moved to Atlanta, Georgia to seek "fame and
fortune" in an acting career. It was during this time that I met Mohammed, my husband. We met
in a nightclub. I was there with my Aunt who had just lost her husband of 25
years to cancer. We were there to drown our sorrows. I had been divorced six
weeks and was in not ready to start any kind of relationship. I was just there
to have a good time with my Aunt, and to maybe dance off a pound or two.
Men continually asked me to dance. I wasn't interested.
Mohammed had been watching me from across the bar. I later learned that his wife
had just left him that day. He walked over to me and asked "What if a nice
guy asked you to dance? Would you?" There was something about him that I
liked and for some reason, I agreed to dance with him. He could dance! He
twirled me, spun me, threw me, and literally swept me off my feet! It was love
at first sight for me. We talked all night about many different things, but
somehow managed to avoid the subject of religion. At first, he gave me a bogus
name, but later that night, he finally told me his real name and where he was
from. I didn't know much about his country and therefore didn't ask questions
about it. I only knew it was somewhere near Egypt. From that day on, we were
together almost everyday. We had our ups and downs, and our break ups, but we
always got back together.
My parents were very concerned. They knew I had lost my faith
but still had hopes that I would return to Jesus. They didn't approve of our
relationship, and we had many battles. It got to the point where I hardly spoke
to my parents. Naturally, I thought I was old enough to make my own choices
without them.
Mohammed and I continued to date on and off for almost a
year. Then on New Year's Eve, he asked me to marry him. I was so happy although
I knew it wouldn't be an easy life together. We had been raised completely
different, we had come from two different areas of the world, our religions were
different, and even our reactions were different. But I loved him so much that I
couldn't stand to be away from him. I experienced what seemed like physical pain
inside when we were apart. He had become my whole life. I felt so secure when I
was with him. My every thought centered around him, and I trusted everything he
said. He was so handsome with his dark hair, dark eyes, strong build, and olive
complexion. He was smart and masculine. I spent hours imagining what our
children would look like.
I said yes to his question of marriage and we decided to plan
it exactly one year from when we first met. He told me that for our marriage to
be meaningful to him, he wanted to be married and raise his children in his
religion. He believed his first marriage failed because he married a woman
outside of his religion. I loved him so much, I agreed with anything he asked. I
didn't realize the impact of my words until much later. He took me to the Mosque
to become engaged and called his family in Syria to tell them the news.
On March 30, exactly one year and a day after we had met, we
were married in the Mosque.
It was while I was expecting our first child that my husband
took me to my first Deedat debate via satellite. He was very convincing and
since I hadn't been practicing my beliefs for sometime, I listened to every
word. That's when the doubts took over. I started asking every Muslim I knew
questions about Islam. And I read all kinds of books on the religion. To honor
my husband's wishes, I took on the responsibility of a teacher after our
daughter was born. I went to Arabic school and Muslim school. I started reading
the Koran, books on the life of Mohammad, books on the lives of all his wives
and was watching all of Deedat's tapes. Six years later, I converted to Islam.
Our daughter was five and our son was two when I started
covering (covering is a part of life for Islamic women), praying five times a
day and fasting. During Ramandon, every year, I would go to the Mosque to pray.
I read the Koran and I read all of Mohammad's teachings and books on how to be a
good Muslim. I even built a Mosque in my new home, held Koran studies every week
in my house, went to ladies' Koran studies every Friday and brought people to
Islam.
Deep inside, something was missing. I didn't feel complete
somehow. I had no joy inside myself and no real peace in my life. It seemed
something was always going wrong at home. There were constant family arguments.
Every time we would all get together for anything, it always ended up with
fighting, yelling, fussing, and screaming, over little things. At times dishes
would fly, food would fly, and one time, my husband's mother threw hot water on
him. I often worried that someone was going to get killed. There was never
peace. Dinner was a nightmare. On many occasions, I would have to leave the
table because I couldn't stand it. Trips together were impossible; there was
always a big blow up.
During one trip we all took across the country with the
children, mother-in-law, brother-in-law, his wife and their child, there was
fighting from the moment we started out. Half way through the trip, it got so
bad that we ended up leaving my husband's brother, wife and child and going on
without them. Where was God's peace, love, and joy? It wasn't in my life or my
household.
By this time, my husband and I had four children: a daughter,
a son and a set of twins (a boy and a girl). My mother-in-law had come for a
visit and my husband, being the oldest, took on the responsibility of caring for
his elderly mother. I had always gotten along with her in the past, but this
trip was different. She began trying to take over my household and we started to
argue. She didn't like the way I did things nor did I like the way she pushed
me. She was even going through all of my personal things! It got to the point
that the tension was so great and I was so angry that we didn't even speaking to
each other. My poor husband was put in the middle of it all. He would come home
and get it from both sides, in Arabic and English.
Things had gotten pretty well out of control around the
Christmas holidays. Mohammad and I had completed building our new house in
Florida less than two years before. The children and I were the only ones living
in it. My husband was still in our home in Georgia traveling back and forth from
Georgia to Florida while running the business in both states. He had come to
join the kids and me for the holidays when I noticed he looked extremely tired.
Originally, we had planned to be in Florida full time by now but it wasn't
working out that way. We decided that the children and I would move back to
Atlanta until all of us could be in Florida together. We closed up our new house
for a while.
We were back in Atlanta only one month when a neighbor from
Florida called. She was a friend and a real estate agent and she wanted to know
if we would like to rent our house to a ladies group. "Sure", I said,
anything for money. Little did I know who these ladies were.
My mother, a wonderful Christian lady, had been living in
Florida for almost twelve years and had attended a Women's Bible Study for over
nine years. My parents had rarely talked to me about my change of religion. They
just loved me and silently prayed for us a lot. Every year without fail and
without my knowledge, she would write a prayer request to the ladies to pray for
my family and me. She told them all about me converting to Islam.
Starting in March, this group of ladies started coming into
my home for one weekend each month. They saw my mother's picture on the wall
with me. They saw all of the Arabic things in my home, even the Mosque we had
built downstairs with the clock that chimed whenever it was time to pray. It did
not take them long to put it all together and realize mine was the family in
need of prayer and they started praying. They prayed all over my house. They
prayed in every room, over every picture, over every thing. They prayed that I
would come back to Jesus. God does work in mysterious ways.
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In June, I returned for a visit. I was going through all
kinds of turmoil in Atlanta. I was still fighting with my mother-in-law and very
upset over the many things she had done. I was becoming extremely confused about
religion. I felt God was really speaking to my heart. Out of desperation, I
called a neighbor who lived down my street because I had heard she was a very
devoted Christian woman. I left a message on her machine that I wanted to talk
to her about God, but she was out of town for the summer and did not receive my
call. But at least it was peaceful in Florida.
The children and I stayed for about a month. I called my
husband in Georgia and told him that I just didn't want to live there anymore. I
loved Florida and I was happy there. He said fine, but I had to go back to move
again. At the end of July, I went back to pack. When I went back, my battle
continued with my mother-in-law. Though when I told her of my confusion about
religion, she suggested I pray and God would show me. That was exactly what I
had been doing and did He ever show me! She also said something very profound
... that my problem was that I worshipped my husband and my husband worshipped
money. Boy, did that hit a nerve or two. She was right. I was worshipping him
and his religion.
We were getting ready to leave and Mohammed was helping me
pack up the car. I looked closely at my husband because he was holding his
chest, breathing very hard and was very sweaty. I was concerned and I asked him
if he was OK. He said he was just tired.
The children and I drove late into the night before we
reached Florida. We got in so late that I decided to call my husband after I had
slept some. I called him on Sunday while the real estate agent was there. We all
talked a long time about what to sell and what to keep. I asked my husband to
call me later so we could finish discussing all the little details. I got busy
around the house putting things away, when I realized it was about 10 p.m. and
he still hadn't called me back. I tried calling him. No one answered. I called
his car phone. No answer. I concluded he may have gone somewhere for dinner and
I would talk to him later. The children and I fell asleep soon after that.
Early the next morning I tried to call him again. I called
the house first, no answer. The car phone, no answer. I called all the different
stores. No one had heard from him. This was so unlike him. I waited another hour
and made another round of calls. Still no one knew where he was. I finally broke
down and called his brother. He answered and told me the same thing. I really
had a bad feeling. I didn't know what happened but I could feel something wasn't
right. I began to have a deep, sinking feeling and began to pace around the
house. When the phone rang, it was my husband. He sounded funny. I asked him
where he was, and that I had been trying to reach him since the night before.
I'll never forget his words. He said, "I'm in the hospital. I had a heart
attack yesterday after your call." My first question was "You're
kidding me?" I couldn't believe it! I knew something was wrong, but a heart
attack? He was only 36 years old. How was that possible?
He told me he was fine and that he was getting out of the
hospital the next day. I tried my best to stay calm for his sake and for the
children, who were now standing around me. I asked him how he could be fine and
why they are letting him out of the hospital the next day? He sounded very light
headed. So I asked him what I should do and he said to do nothing, he was fine.
I asked him for the doctor's phone number. He wouldn't give it to me. I
persisted until a nurse finally got on the phone with me. I talked with her and
she gave me the doctor's number.
I called the doctor in tears. He got on the phone with me
immediately, and told me that my husband was very sick and that he had a severe
heart attack. He said I needed to get back to Atlanta as soon as I could because
no one else could sign papers for him to have the necessary surgery. He also
told me that Mohammed was on the drug Morphine, which explained his stupor.
I hung up the phone and fell apart. I tried to tell my
children. I called my mother but she could barely understand me. I knew I had to
calm down and that this was not going to help. I had to make some decisions and
fast. Would I fly or drive? Take the children? All of them or just some of them
or leave them with my parents? What to do? Mom hung up and called my dad. It was
through him that we made our plans. My mother went with us so there would be
another driver with me. We all packed very quickly and were on the road in less
than an hour.
We made great time until we got just outside of Atlanta. They
were working on the highway and cars were backed up for miles. After about an
hour, I got my daughter to jump out and look down the emergency lane to see if
it was blocked. This was an emergency after all! We told some truck drivers what
was going on and they got on their CB radios and contacted the police. People
started pulling over and made a little path for us to get through!
I dropped my mother and children off at the house and headed
for the hospital. I got there about 3:30 p.m. and went in to see my husband. He
was in intensive care. Here was my big, strong husband, so weak, so helpless,
and so tired. He looked up at me and smiled.
He tried to reassure me that he was fine. I don't think he
really knew what had happened and how serious it was. He kept telling me he was
going to get out of the hospital the next day. He was on drugs and delirious. I
could only stay with him a few minutes at a time. The nurse came in and told me
where I could sleep, but I didn't want to leave him. She insisted that I rest.
She could tell I was very tired. I went down the hall to a waiting room where
the chairs made out into little beds. I tried my best to sleep so I could regain
my strength. Only God knew what was ahead.
The next day, we found part of what caused the heart attack.
It was a blood clot that had closed up 98% of the artery. If the blood thinner
could not desolve it, Mohammed was facing surgery. The doctor kept him on
medication for three days with no luck. I had gone to the house to pick up the
children and my mother-in-law to bring them to the hospital. I explained to them
how sick Mohammed was, then told my mother-in-law specifically not to take in
any cigarettes with her into the hospital because the doctors believed that his
heart attack may have been caused by smoking. I also said that he was on heavy
medication and that he might search her for cigarettes. I begged her not to give
any to him.
Our visit went great and as we were getting ready to leave,
Mohammad insisted on walked us down the hall. He started asking his mother for
cigarettes. We all shouted NO! but he grabbed her purse and started looking for
one. Then right there in front of the children and me, she reached in her bra,
pulled out a cigarette and handed it to him. We all screamed at her. My husband
promised he wouldn't smoke it, but I didn't believe him and he wouldn't give it
to me.
I had never been so angry with any one person in my whole
life as I was with my mother-in-law and I couldn't hold it in. I asked her who
would take care of all of us if her son dies? Then she said if God wants him to
die, it is God's will. I told her to leave it to God then, he didn't need her
help.
The next morning, I got to the hospital very early. When I
walked into the room, I smelled smoke. Yes, it was a non-smoking room, but I
smelled smoke. I looked at him and said, "Where's the cigarette?" He
told me that he had only smoked two puffs. I couldn't find the rest of it. I
left the room to get a cup of coffee and to talk to the nurse. She came back
into the room with me to try to talk some sense into him and to get him ready
for the catherization.
While we were on our way downstairs, I looked at his face.
His eyes were glossy, his skin was turning ashy, and his forehead was sweaty and
clammy. He was having another heart attack! This couldn't be happening! It
hadn't even been 30 minutes since he smoked that cigarette. I was so upset. The
doctors reassured me that he would be fine.
He came through the test and was back in his room. I again
tried to get the cigarette with no luck. I stayed with him all day. In the
evening, I went downstairs for a few minutes to grab some dinner and bring it
back to the room. When I got back, Mohammad was standing by the window, smoking.
I ran into the room and grabbed the cigarette out of his hands and flushed it
down the toilet.
I knew his mother, brother and uncle were on their way to the
hospital. I had not told them about what had happened in the morning. I was
trying to just let it go. I got him back into the bed and started to eat my
dinner with him. About 10 minutes later, that same look came over him. I called
the nurse and she came running in. They sent me outside. Everyone was running
here and there, coming and going with all kinds of machines. I became hysterical
in the hall. Nurses were around me trying to settle me down. When his mother,
brother and uncle walked up, I jumped my mother-in-law! Everyone was trying to
hold me off of her. About that time, the doctor walked up. They were
transporting my husband to another hospital. I told him what had happened. (I
think he was ready to join in with me.) He said if I chose to make the call, I
had the right to ban them all from visiting and that I should, but right now, we
needed to save his life.
Everything was moving very fast. The ambulance got there and
I jumped in the front seat so I could ride with my husband. I wasn't allowed to
ride in the back because they were working with him. He made it to the new
hospital where they did many procedures on him, including angioplasty. It was a
success. Thank God!
My husband's family started taking sides. His uncle with me
and my husband's brother with his mother. The day my husband came home from the
hospital, another huge fight ensued. The tension was so great, my husband wanted
to leave and go to Florida so he could get away from them. He was very upset
with his brother and mother for many things.
As soon as he was able to travel, I packed him up in the car
and made a bed in the back for him to lie down during the long ten-hour trip
back to Florida. As we were leaving Atlanta, my mother-in-law yelled at me,
telling me I was trying to kill her son. I received my answer from God. This was
not a religion I wanted to be any part of. There was so much hate, malice, and
confusion all the time. And I knew God did not have these attributes.
After being in Florida for about a week, the neighbor I had
called at the beginning of summer, returned my call. We didn't talk too much
because my husband was around. We got together for lunch and I told her all of
my problems. She invited me to church and the next Sunday night, my children and
I went. My husband had said fine since I was a Muslim. He even told me to go if
it made me feel better. "Just do not ever change your religion," he
said. I really had no intention of changing, I thought maybe I could be both. Go
to church and still remain Muslim. Believe in the good things of both religions.
That night at church, I didn't even get my feet in the door
when I started crying. I couldn't stop. My children kept asking me what was
wrong. I tried to assure them that I was fine. I can't remember what was said
that night, but God was talking to my heart. This old song then came to me that
I sang years ago. It was "Jesus Is the Cornerstone." That was my
answer. I went back to church the next Sunday night. I hadn't told my parents,
or anyone, except one friend. I didn't want anyone to try and sway me in any
direction. I just wanted it to be God and me.
A few days later, I was reading the Bible. I just opened it
and as it fell open, these were the first words I read: "That their hearts
might be comforted, being knit together in love and unto all riches of the full
assurance of understanding to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of
the Father, and of Christ; in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and
knowledge. And this I say, lest any man should beguile you with enticing words.
For though I be absent in the flesh, yet am I with you in the spirit, joying and
beholding your order and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ. (Colossians
2:2-5)
I found my way back to the Lord Jesus. My children followed
right along with me. Of course this decision enraged my husband. One night at
the dinner table he told me that he was giving me two weeks to come back to
Islam or his was going to throw me into the streets. That night with my children
sitting there, I looked at him and said, “ I am ready to die for Christ, and
He will take care of me.” Then Muhammad said to me three times, “I divorce
you!”
The next day the children and I moved out to our small house.
It has not been easy. There were many threats from Muhammad, and his family. The
children and I were spit on, hit, cast out, and we even had to live in a shelter
for safety ,but we believed the Lord would continue to take care of us. The
peace we had inside our home, and hearts was worth giving it all up. And there
were many material things to give up!
I tried many times to win Muhammad and his family over to the
Lord. This went on for over a year with hopes he would come to Jesus. Muhammad
even went to church with us a couple of times. He even went to my first concert
where the Spirit of the Lord was so strong that our youngest daughter gave her
heart to the Lord. Each time we would talk about the Lord I could see the Lord
dealing with his heart, then soon after he would become harder and harder to
Jesus. I even took his mother to see Billy Graham, but instead of her being
touched, she cried to me saying that all those people there were lost. That
Islam could use speakers like Billy Graham because he was such a great
communicator.
The final act was the night I washed Muhammad’s feet with
oil, water, and my tears. He was moved to tears, but later that night I found
him on the computer in a porn-site. I went upstairs to my prayer closet, and
cried my heart out to the Lord. The Lord spoke to my heart, and said,” hate
ever the clothes defiled by the flesh.” I didn’t know that verse and even
questioned it. It was like I could see where his clothes had been. I could feel
his clothes speaking out to me, telling me stories of place they had been, and
what all they had seen. It was then that the Lord revealed to me the plans of my
husband. His plans were to acquire everything, and leaving the children and I
homeless. I felt the strong need to get out of that house fast and retreat to
our small house only a few streets away. Muhammad had taken all the monies out
of our other homes, and was planning himself to move to the small house. Taking
the equity out of the small house which had lots, and leaving me with no way to
support our children or a place to live. It was his way of keeping the control
over us and us still having to depend on him. I saw it all so clearly laying on
that floor in prayer.
The next morning I found those verse in the Bible...Jude:
22-23. I ask to Lord if I had I forgiven him...and I felt Him speaking... “Yes”
seven times seventy...I started counting all the nights he went out over 14
years, and at least twice each week! (2 times 52 times 14, that was 1456, way
over 470) That was the very next night that Muhammad had given me the command to
either come back to Islam or be thrown into the streets! Everyday I forgive him,
and his family, because I know just as Jesus said on the cross....”Father
forgive them they know not what they are doing”. He has no clue! I pray
blessing on him and his family. The Word of God says, bless those who cruse you.
I believe still today for his, and many other Muslims salvation. My children and
I pray that Muhammad, and his family will come to Christ. We know that Jesus
loves all of them and died for them as well.
We have seen many miracles in our lives. It was by total
faith that we lived over one year with no formal forms of income coming in. We
know for a fact that God can take what was intended for bad and make it good.
My new quote became.... Jesus, can take our leftovers, and
make goulash out of it, and feed the world. There has been a price to pay, but I
thank the Lord Jesus for paying the Ultimate price for me, and that was the
price for my salvation.
The Lord has been so faithful to us proving Himself over and
over again of His love, grace and mercy...Out of all this pain, a ministry was
birthed. The Lord has blessed us with a wonderful ministry were we are seeing
many come to Christ and are able to help other women in our same situation. We
have a deep burden for the lost Muslims, and the many women, and children that
suffer great abuse at the hand of Islam.
One night when I was praying, and feeling so bad about
leaving the Lord, after I met Muhammad, the Lord really spoke to my heart. He
said to me.... “Cati, when you left me you had a small singing ministry
started, but now you have a real burden for the lost souls. You truly know how
lost the lost are. You have a burden for the abused woman; you know their
pain....” Those were the sweetest words to my ears. It set me free...That how
this ministry was birthed, not for my glory, but for His Glory! It is all about
hurting people...It is all about Jesus!
I want to add; in no way do I believe that all Muslims beat
their wives, nor do I believe that all Christian men do not….. Abuse from
anyone is very wrong. It comes from everywhere, all people, in all walks of
life. The difference is that in Islam men are given the permission to beat their
wives with no questions ask if they feel the need. I ask that you will pray for
us as we continue to reach out to those that are hurting. As the Lord leads and
guides us! We need your support, time, prayer....It is a big call, and I have
made the choice to answer it. Will you help? It is not by our might, but by His!
Please ask the Lord to show you how you can help us? The harvest is white!
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