Terry Justison's Story
Kriya and Kundalini Yoga
I grew up in central Florida in the 1960s. I lost contact
with the Lord in junior high and began seeking happiness through materialism and
my senses. The Supreme Court ended school prayer in 1962 the year I graduated
from high school. The secular community was slowly chipping away at America's
morality. Christianity was becoming less popular. Eastern religions were gaining
in popularity. Creation as taught by the Bible was out. Evolution was in. No
longer was man created by God, now he had evolved from monkeys and apes. God was
gradually being removed from our culture. And the God that remained was more of
a generic God that everyone found acceptable. Tolerance was in. It was more
important not to offend someone than it was to practice righteousness and
morality. Preservation of our right to free speech as provided by the first
amendment was being used to make inroads for all sorts of immoral activity such
as pornography and the sexual explicitness and violence in movies, television,
and music. Abortion was becoming acceptable. I barely noticed any of this. I
graduated with an engineering degree from the University of Florida in 1966. I
partied a lot until I reached 30 and then realized that most of my 20s were a
waste. During this period and up to 1987 I was a systems programmer on large
mainframe IBM computers. I was an expert programmer in COBOL and assembly
language. Reading system dumps was my specialty. I was trained in installing and
supporting IMS and MVS software systems. In 1973 I got married and we began
working on the American dream. By 1987 I was burned out. Out of frustration we
sold everything, retired, bought a motorhome and traveled mainly in the West
until 1992. I was desperately looking for some meaning to life. I was searching
for inner peace. I was ready for a spiritual awakening.
In 1989 I heard a voice telling me to investigate Yoga. So I
began to read about Yoga and Eastern philosophy. I began doing yoga asanas
(postures). In 1993 we sold our motorhome and settled down in Jerome, AZ. near
the new age capital - Sedona. We started a business - a gallery that featured
our custom gold jewelry inlaid with opal and diamonds. We had learned how to
make custom jewelry while traveling in our motorhome. The business was quite
successful. About that time I read "Autobiography of a Yogi" by
Yogananda and discovered Kriya Yoga. Babaji was of special interest to me. Then
I discovered a Yoga sect called Babaji's Kriya Yoga led by Marshall Govindan. In
December of 1994 I attended a two-day 1st level initiation in Phoenix. Then in
March of 1995 I attended a two-day 2nd level initiation in Sedona. During July
of 1996 I went to a 10 day 3rd level initiation near Montreal. This was highest
level of initiation. We were initiated into all 144 kriyas including several
"samadhi" kriyas that were of primary interest to me. In March 1999 I
attended another 2nd level retreat at Sedona. I thought I had found the answer
to all my spiritual yearnings in Kriya Yoga. Almost from the beginning I started
getting up at 3:30 AM doing kriya kundalini pranayam, meditation, japa
(mantras), and asanas for 4-5 hours daily. I was very serious about finding God
and I was convinced that Kriya Kundalini Yoga was the high road to God. I read
every book I could get my hands on about Eastern Mysticism. But little did I
know that events were shaping which would lead me in a totally different
direction spiritually. In September 1999 we sold our business, retired for a
second time, and relocated somewhat reluctantly for me to a small town in south
central Florida. I tried mightily to build a case for staying out West in
California or Arizona, but every attempt was thwarted for one reason or another.
I now believe that God wanted us in Florida for reasons that were soon to play
out.
After we were settled down, my wife discovered the Potter's
House, a Christian girl's home run by Manny and Sandy Lopes. Manny and Sandy are
a very devout Christian couple who were called by God around 1980. Shortly after
being called by God - at God's request they formed a non-profit corporation and
gave all their assets to it. Today their only possession is a 1987 Ford van with
200,000+ miles on it. They receive no pay. They literally live in a large 3
story home with up to 24 teenage girls and up to 5 babies. The organization they
formed has evolved into the Potter's House Girl's Home. The Potter's House is
also a ranch with 20 fenced in acres and 7 horses and a donkey. There is a
separate school and dorm. It is run by donations only (there is no use of
government funds). They also handle the adoptions for the pregnant teenage girls
who do not wish to keep their babies. Also there is a program for the placement
of babies in private homes for female prison inmates while they are in jail. The
usual term of stay for a girl at the home is 18-22 months. The girls range in
age from 13 - 17 when they come. Some of the girls come there due to teen-age
pregnancy. But most are placed there as a last resort by parents or the courts
because of drug use, rebellious behavior, and running away. Other than the
volunteers, the home is run entirely by Manny and Sandy, a couple of teachers,
and a very efficient secretary/administrator.
After my wife had been volunteering there for several months
she talked me into coming over to assist her. The fact that I went was a miracle
of itself. Soon I looked forward to going. But the real transformation for me
was yet to come. After a couple of months I began to notice the transformation
taking place in the girls especially the newer ones. I could see that
spirituality had a lot to do with changing the girls, and I had to give credit
to the Christian ministry that was a big part of the program. Then one weekend
Manny and Sandy left us with the girls as house parents for a couple of days
while they went to Orlando which then turned into four days. It happened to be a
weekend when there was a guest speaker at the church that the Potter's House
attends regularly. I hadn't been to church for over 30 years and had been
thinking we should start going. Also I had been thinking I should start reading
the Bible so I could talk more intelligently about Christianity. Anyway we ended
up taking the girls to church twice on Sunday and again on Monday and Tuesday
night.
Well I really liked the church service and was amazed at the
presence of God I felt. So we just started going to this church. Church was not
like I remembered it. People were actually happy and friendly. There was no
hellfire and damnation preaching. Then there was the "good news" about
Jesus, Son of God, born of a virgin into a human body to experience life as man…Jesus
growing up living a life totally free from sin…Jesus being tempted by Satan -
big time…Jesus knowing firsthand exactly what man was experiencing in the
world…Jesus, son of God, coming not as a conqueror; but as a humble servant
preaching righteousness, healing the sick, raising the dead…Then Jesus dying
on the Cross as the ultimate sacrifice for man's sin. "For God so loved the
world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall
not perish, but shall have everlasting life" John 3:16. Jesus arising from
the dead after three days… And then the good news about the "Holy
Spirit" making God available to everyone on a personal basis after the
resurrection of Jesus…And finally the good new of eternal life for all true
believers. Somehow, except for the arising from the dead, I never really got the
good news in my early Christian days. This was a God I could love and worship.
Then came the day when the Pastor of our church called. I talked to her for a
while wondering what the call was about (she had never called me before). After
a while the Pastor mentioned that God had asked her to call me, but she didn't
really say why. Well the fact that God had asked her to call me really got my
attention. At some point I mentioned my Yoga practice of 4-5 hours each day
figuring that would impress her and she got real quiet. I could tell she didn't
approve, but she didn't say much more.
The next day was Wednesday - prayer night - and as my wife
and I walked into the church that evening the Pastor handed me a VCR tape. It
turns out she had been ordained by Mike Shreve many years (in the 1980's)
earlier and he had given her this VCR tape back then. She had never had any
reason to watch it and had just put the tape on a shelf. In fact the tape had
not even been available for a number of years and Mike Shreve hadn't been in our
town for 10 years or more. The video was Mike Shreve's testimony about when he
converted from Yoga to Christianity and the material he had gathered comparing
Christianity to Eastern religions. When I started watching the video I knew what
was going to happen almost at once. In one hour, through a strong and logical
presentation, he made me question every Eastern spiritual belief I had been
harboring.
The next day I called Mike in Tennessee. It turned out that
in a week Mike just happened to be coming to Tampa for three days. He wanted me
to meet him there at a church on Sunday. I knew I had to go see him. On Sunday I
fought a battle in my mind over whether or not I should go, and finally decided
not to go. But then my conscience bothered me all day Monday and I knew I had to
go that night. So my wife and I went. At the end of the service he asked if
there were any people who wanted to come forward and be saved. My wife and I
went forward. We met Mike for the first time, prayed with him, and were saved. I
was also baptized in the Holy Spirit. That night I felt the presence of the Holy
Ghost for the first time and have felt it ever since. The next week I mailed
some of my Yoga and Eastern religion books to Mike for his reference library on
Eastern religions and burned the rest of my Eastern religious materials (about
50 books) as a sacrifice to my commitment to Lord Jesus Christ.
Mike Shreve's studies of Eastern religions reaches the
conclusion that all the new age philosophies, Yoga/Hinduism, Eastern Mysticism,
Buddhism, etc. are definitely sincere and often loving attempts to discover
ultimate reality; but fail to take a person into the true experience of God. I
have met Mike Shreve and he is more powerful and spiritually blessed than anyone
else I have met. I had studied Eastern religions for 8 years and his message
caused me to re-evaluate and change my ideas on every major doctrine that I
embraced. This was not something easily accomplished in someone who had been
practicing yoga for 4-5 hours a day for 8 years. I had some interesting
spiritual experiences practicing Kriya Kundalini Yoga. But for the last couple
of years of my Yoga practice doubts were nagging at me. I didn't feel that I was
going to advance any further. Even my most intense meditation experiences had a
certain void to them. I now believe that what was missing was God.
Mantras had always worked powerfully for me, but I began
having doubts about my mantra (Gayatri - which is the major one for Hindus). It
bothered me that I wasn't even given the meaning of the mantra at initiation. My
guru told me not to worry about the meaning of the words, which were in an
ancient Indian language. He taught that they were secret syllables and
sounds, which caused enlightenment over time. In fact, most of the teachings of
Babaji's Kriya Yoga were presented as secret and not available to the general
public. Pranayam techniques were super secret, etc. You had to go special
initiations and pay a guru to teach you these techniques and swear not to reveal
them to anyone else. Why would God want to keep the most straightforward path to
enlightenment secret from most people? In fact, Jesus taught his disciples,
"Freely you have received, now freely give" (Mathew 10:8).
Getting back to the mantra. When I was initially introduced
to mantras in March of 1995, Govindan mentioned a book "The Way of a
Pilgrim" as a reference for the use of mantras. In fact this is the only
book he ever mentioned in regards to mantras that I can remember. I got a copy
of the book and I really liked it. It was a Christian book about interior prayer
of the heart. After reading this book I was drawn to the Jesus Prayer and the
technique it describes even over my high powered Hindu mantra by which I was
fast approaching a major sidhi. A major sidhi involved repeating a mantra one
million eighty thousand times. This was done with a string of prayer beads to
keep track of the number of repetitions. It took me about three hours to do a
thousand repetitions of the Gayatri mantra. So in a year I could do about three
hundred and fifty thousand repetitions of the mantra. I had a lot of time
invested in the Gayatri mantra. I was reluctant to stop for fear I was near a
major spiritual break through. But it seemed I had reached a plateau on the
Gayatri mantra that I could not pass. I had committed my search for God
primarily around pranayam and the mantra. But, I had been having doubts about
this path for a year or more before I came in contact with the Christians. Still
I was reluctant to leave the mantra because of all the effort I had put into it.
I did often get kind of a peaceful high on the mantra, but there was no evidence
of the God I so wanted to feel the presence of. Several months before I was
saved (accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior) at the meeting with Mike Shreve in
Tampa, I just dropped the mantra and began doing prayer of the heart.
Basically my reason for leaving Yoga was that I felt the need
to worship God. I wanted a God I could love. My favorite part of church is the
Praise and Worship segment. Eastern religions aren't really about worship. The
Gods in Eastern religions like the Buddha or the Atman and Brahman are too
impersonal for me. I like the living God of the Bible and his Son Jesus. This is
a God that I not only want to worship, but also to love. And Jesus, once you
read about Jesus in the Bible, who cannot help but love him and get tears in
their eyes at the very thought of who He was and what He did. I am sorry but I
cannot consider Babaji, Muhamed, Krisna, Rama, Vishnu, Siva, Ganesha, etc. as
God or even remotely equivalent to Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Only Jesus
arose from the dead after three days. Only Jesus died on the cross for the sins
of man. Only Jesus promises us eternal life if we but believe. Since I started
attending church I have consistently felt God's presence more than at any time
in any new age or yoga gathering. Our minister is a woman who has more of a
presence of God than any Yoga guru I have met. Mike Shreve has a great spiritual
presence. They are very humble and give all the credit to the God the Father and
his Son Jesus.
Christianity has the Bible. It can be verified and
crosschecked by numerous ancient documents. There are hundreds of prophecies and
cross-references in the Bible that all correlate and match. The Bible is the
inspired word of God and is accepted as fact by all Christians. The ancient Jews
were extremely careful students of the Jewish religion. They did not believe
that Jesus was the true Messiah and wanted to discredit him. If there were any
discrepancies in the New Testament (especially regarding Jesus who they
crucified) they would have disclosed them. But there is no record of their
finding any discrepancies. We know there was a Jesus. Even the calendar year
starts at Jesus' birth year. Eastern religion has nothing remotely equivalent to
the Bible. The books of Yoga and Hinduism such as the Vedas and Bhagavad Gita
read like fiction to me now. Many Yoga gurus use Bible quotes to back up their
teachings. Anyone knowledgeable about the Bible knows that it most definitely
teaches against other religions and cults. The Jewish people were constantly
getting in trouble for turning to other gods, idolatry, paganism, etc. Any
quotes from the Bible that are being used to support Eastern religious beliefs
are definitely being used out of context. It is interesting that Yoga gurus
would quote the Bible to support their views. This act implies their endorsement
of the Bible. In Christianity the Bible is the only written reference needed.
The Eastern religions teach that God is within us…and that
all paths lead to God. Basically they are so flexible that we can create our own
religion and eliminate any parts that we may not want to follow. It's so easy, a
person just meditates on the inner self that is God and eventually becomes God
and one with everything. I no longer subscribe to this approach. My experience
with the true and living God has convinced me that the methods I was taught fail
to produce their promised results. Accept Jesus into your heart as Lord of your
life and your Savior and be filled with the Holy Ghost and feel the real
presence of God. I can testify that this method will produce the desired results
- bringing one into the presence of God. As to there being many paths to God, in
John 14:6 Jesus said "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life, No one
comes to the Father except through Me."
So here is my advice. Give Jesus a chance. For several days
give the time and effort you would normally devote to your Eastern religion to
Jesus. Read the New Testament starting at the Gospel of St. John. Instead of
doing meditation or mantras, pray. Pray to Jesus for help and assistance. Contact one of the persons whose testimonies are on this site. Begin attending
church. Try several to find one that fits your needs. Accept the Lord Jesus
Christ as your Savior and the Lord of your life. Feel the presence of the Holy
Spirit and be forever changed.
One more thought. The Potter's House refers to Jeremiah 18
where the Lord is shaping and molding a lump of clay into a beautiful vessel.
Recently it occurred to me that whereas I thought I was a volunteer doing good
works at the Potter's House - that actually I was there just like the girls to
be shaped and reformed. In fact the girls have probably done more work
transforming me than I have on them. So instead of Manny and Sandy getting a
volunteer they just got more work to do. In fact the morning when I initially
started writing this testimony I had a vision that God had me on the potter's
wheel. That he was molding and reshaping me. He still has a lot of work to do on
me.
May God Bless,
Terry Justison
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